Time after Sometime
by Rhyianna Merquise
Summary: We're not getting that cup of coffee, are we?" ... "No. We're not."


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Time after Sometime

Summary: "I guess we're not getting that cup of coffee, are we?" … "No. We're not." 

Rating: PG

Notes: Hurray for my first Alias fic. Please let me know if I suck. Many thanks. 

One other note: I don't own Alias, so please refrain from taking legal action against me. I'm afraid all you'll get is some Sweet Breath and lip gloss. 

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"I guess we're not getting that cup of coffee, are we?"

"No. We're not." 

Seven seconds later I heard the dial tone that meant she no longer trusted her voice to keep from breaking and betraying her emotions to me. As if I didn't already know what I had done. It wasn't enough – breaking her heart when she found out I was married. Not necessarily to Lauren – but that I was married, with someone else. That I had moved on. No, it wasn't enough. I had just broken her heart again. 

I closed my eyes. Drew a breath. Breaking her heart. Hurting her. I knew what she would do now. She would hang up the phone and fall into herself. In my mind's eye, I could see her on her couch. The one at her old apartment, of course. I had never seen her new place. She would curl up on her couch and cry. 

I tried to force myself away from these thoughts. Sydney alone and hurting was something I could not bear. _How do you think she's been since she got back?_ a small voice asked. My heart clenched. 

I needed to move. If I moved, maybe she would leave my thoughts. Maybe I could live with myself. I turned and walked back into my bedroom. Our bedroom. Mine. And Lauren's. She was there, asleep. I absently slid back into bed, being careful not to touch her. She had been through too much today. I couldn't leave her now. I knew better than anyone what it felt like to lose a father. But I did not know, I did not have any idea, what it was like to realize that he was a traitor to the country he had sworn allegiance to.

However, this changed very little in our relationship. Things were still not working. They were still not right. I don't think that they were right from the beginning, but I was trying too hard to notice. Trying too hard to exorcise myself of the ghost of Sydney Bristow. I should have known that she would never really leave me. 

I glanced to my right. Lying on the bedside table was my father's watch. Ticking. 

__

You could set your heart by it. 

The words resounded in my head. My words. 

__

It stopped working the day I met you. 

You. Her. Sydney. Who was alone, crying on her couch because of me. 

No. Hell no. It was not humanly possible for me to do this to her. 

I got up. 

There was nothing in Heaven and Earth that could have stopped me. 

Five minutes later I was in my car, the streetlights blurred from the slight rain. Streets flew by me. I have no recollection of making any conscious decisions to turn left, turn right, stop. I looked around me for the first time. There was Weiss's house. No lights. I vaguely remember him telling me that he had a date. Sydney's house. There was a light on. 

It wasn't until I reached her door and knocked that I realized that I was shaking violently. I don't know if it was with the reaction of the day, or if it was the effect of the pain I was feeling for what I had done to Sydney. 

Sixteen seconds later, the door opened and she stood before me. In the split second that I surveyed her in, I took in the overly bright eyes, the red nose and cheeks, the puffy eyes, and the trembling lips. I also took in the look in her eyes that told me I was the last person she ever expected. 

Her lips parted. "Vaughn?" Softly, tremulously. I felt physical pain. 

Without thinking I stepped forward and put my arms around her. In that moment, I felt the shreds of her control slip. She slipped her arms between my coat and my body, pressed her face against my neck and began to sob. 

It was a funny thing…the more I touched her, the longer I held her, the more the pain seemed to ebb away. And so I comforted her in every way I knew how to. Soft kisses on her temple, forehead, hands twined in her hair, quiet reassurances. 

I have no idea how long we stood there. Long enough that her sobs had faded into a muffled sniffle every so often and long enough that the ache in my chest was no longer physical. 

In a moment, she pulled back enough to step out of my arms. I let her lead me to the couch, shedding my coat as I walked. Sitting down on her new couch, I pulled her down to me. I knew what had to be said. 

I looked at her for the first time since I arrived. She looked hopeful, but she was guarding it. Not that I expected her to do anything else. The last time she was hopeful, I had broken her heart. 

"Sydney…" I paused to collect my thoughts. "I told you in North Korea that there would never be anyone else for me. I meant it. You are…everything in my world. When you…died," I choked on the word; she reached for my hand, "I died with you. There was nothing I wouldn't give to have you back. Nothing. That's still true. For two years, Sydney, I thought you were dead. And your ghost haunted me. Every second of every day. I tried to rid myself of it, but then I realized that I didn't want to move on. I used to pray I would die, did you know that? I used to pray that I would die, so I would be with you." The words were tumbling out; I had no control. I was dimly aware that I was crying, that Sydney was brushing the tears away. "Like I said, I was so in love with you it almost killed me. And then you came back. And I tried to make things work with her." I couldn't bring myself to say Lauren's name. "But you…I love you, Sydney. I don't, I can't make things work with her. I have only ever really belonged to one person, and that was – is – you." 

Sydney leaned forward so our foreheads were touching. "I love you," she whispered. 

I smiled, a real smile. "I know I broke your heart," I said, reaching for her hands. "But I'll heal it, if you give me all the pieces." 

A fresh tear slid down her cheek. "They were always yours," she said, trying to smile. 

I kissed her then. Gently, nothing like the kisses we shared in Korea, those were desperate, anguished kisses. Twenty-six seconds later, I broke off the kiss. Smiling at her, I laid back and pulled her to me, where she nestled her face into my chest and wrapped and arm around me. 

Fifty-two minutes later, her clock struck eleven. Sydney looked up at me, a question in her eyes. 

"I'm not leaving," I said. 

She smiled softly. Then she frowned. "What about Lauren?" 

I sighed and ran a hand down my face. "I can't leave her yet. Not now. Not during all this." I can feel Sydney nod. I'm glad she agrees with me. "But someday. Someday soon," I promised. "Then maybe we can finally get to Santa Barbara." 

She laughed quietly at that before untangling herself from me. When I didn't move, she grabbed my hand and pulled me up with her. 

"We are not sleeping on the couch," she said, matter-of-factly. 

Eight minutes later, I slid into the bed behind her. Wrapping my arms around her, I marveled at how _good_ this felt. She was Sydney… I belonged here. 

I needed more than tonight. But there would be other nights. For the first time in two years, I let my mind go. There would be other nights. If I had my way, she would be living with me as soon as her lease was up. And then I would have all the time I wanted. No, tonight was not sufficient. 

But it was enough. 


End file.
